Let's Pretend

I'd like to say a few things about this week.

1. Bank tellers at Wells Fargo have a special skill for irritating me.

Why must they know what I'm doing with the rest of my day or over the weekend?

Or if I'm using the money I'm withdrawing to go Christmas shopping?

For some reason (call me crazy) I don't think that's any of their business.

Let's maybe stick to impersonal banter - like the rest of the civilized customer service world.

I'd be happy to chat with you about the weather, the upcoming holiday season, or our struggling sports teams.

I will not be giving you my Christmas shopping list or a rundown of my weekend plans.

I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't even know those things, teller-boy.

I miss the days of bank tellers who didn't make eye contact, let alone venture into chatty banter with you.

2. Generic sandwich bags are NOT the same as Ziplocks.

Normally, I love me a good generic brand.

I celebrate with the rest of the discount fairies at saving a penny or two.

But, I have found that the generic bags just don't keep out smells/tastes like those Ziplocks.

Little geniuses that they are.

Today was the last straw.

My yellow cake/fudge buttercream sandwich cookie tasted like garlic bread (since that's what it was packed on top of in my lunch box).

That is truly horrifying and completely unacceptable to me.

Pregnancy tastebuds aside - fudgey, delicious buttercream should NEVER taste like garlic.

NEVER.

Protect yourself and your family and buy retail!

And that's the only time you will hear me say that.

Amen.

3. No one is getting a Leonard Christmas card this year.

It's not going to happen.

I have to have peace about it.

And so should you.

Shout out to all the other working mom's who can't get their act together!!

Woot! Woot!

Seriously, I don't have time.

The dog is misbehaving, the cats are puking, the boy is running, my belly's growing, fa la la la la la la!!!

And just so I feel better, here's a little family picture.

Well, ok, you were going to get a family picture, but blogger is not cooperating and it's 9:45 pm. I've made caramels, fudge, 5 pans of pumpkin bread, and packed up Christmas gifts in the last few hours and I'm tired. I'd like to go to bed now and not watch the picture upload spinning thing circle round and round fruitlessly.

So let's pretend together.

Pretend you saw a really attractive family picture - one where we're all groomed and coordinated, and not what it actually was, which is a picture hastily taken at the Mall of America on Halloween night after a long day. :)

Pretend the picture came to your house in a gold-foil lined envelope, with the greeting, "From our family to yours, Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!"

'Cause I'd do it up real classy-like if I had time.

And a nanny.

And a house cleaner.

And a personal chef.

THEN, I'd have classy Christmas cards.

Until then, feel free to come back to the blog to view Christmas - Leonard style.

There. Now I feel better.

Christmas cards: Done.