I'm in the club

I'm starting a club.

I'm calling it the She-Woman Bug Haters Club and I'm accepting new applicants.

All you need is a can of Raid and a severe dislike for all things in the bug world.

I'll even accept those of you with a hatred for the creepy, crawly, six-legged demons.

That's what they are, let's not sugarcoat it people.

We will go forth, seek out, kill and destroy anything that presents itself with more than four legs.

Ew. Even that description creeps me out!

I know, I'm freaking out a little here, but for good reason.

I was attacked this morning by this:



I'm sorry you had to see that.

But in my defense, I did say this post would have pictures. :)

No, seriously, this mini-me of the scorpion family was lying in wait in my bathroom this morning.

Let me just paint you a little picture.

A mental picture, you don't want images of what I'm about to describe, trust me on this one.

I put Pookie down for a nap and ventured into the bathroom to hop in the shower and get ready for the day. While undressing I happened to glance at the ceiling and what did I see? An earwig!

That's what that nasty little sucker is in the picture above.

I know this because they have been roaming around our house for the last few months and I for one would like them to pack up their little buggy bags and go home!

This is not your home!

My husband even sprayed something around the outside of the house to try to stop them from getting in.

Didn't seem to affect this bathroom stalker's travels.

Maybe he's the Rambo of all the earwigs.

Anyway, back to me...in the buff...scared...and a little ticked off.

And what do you do when you're not wearing any clothes, the shower is already running and you see a bug on the ceiling?

You go get the Swiffer sweeper out of the kitchen closet to kill and destroy.

Of course!

There's just one problem.

When I got back into the bathroom, the earwig was gone.

Yep, sneaky little sucker had moved on me.

Ah, but I'm not so easily fooled.

I climbed up on the toilet, wielding my Swiffer weapon and spied him on top of the vanity.

Now, I made the decision not to climb up onto the vanity stark naked and try to kill this nasty bug at close distance.

I have peace about that decision - you should too.

But this decision had it's consequences. While I was trying to decide how to get to him, he crawled down into the top of the vanity and disappeared.

Awesome.

Now I had nothing left to do but suck it up, act like a grown woman, and take my shower with a rogue bug loose just mere inches from my head.

I can do that, right?

I am a grown up.

Except that I'm not. Not when it comes to bugs.

I am a tiny, shrieking girl.

Nevertheless, I took my shower, all the while keeping my eyes peeled on the ceiling and the shower curtain.

I knew he was waiting to attack!

It wasn't exactly the most relaxing shower I've ever had.

And when I emerged a few minutes later, there he was, perched atop the vanity, his little tail wagging in victory.

Ah, but I had the last laugh.

I grabbed my Swiffer sword and chopped that litter bugger in half!

Wha-cha!

That's the noise you have to make when you kill bugs.

That, or scream, "Die, bugs, die!!"

It completes the circle of life.

Now, who's victorious??

She-Woman Bug Haters Club: 1
Bugs: 0

So, if you'd like to be in the club, just let me know - we'll get t-shirts. It'll be awesome.