And one and two and three and four!

Get those feet right off the floor!

This is my kind of workout routine.

A little rhyming, a little repetition.

A LOT of instruction.

This is NOT what I experienced with the two DVD's I borrowed from the library recently.

Let me first just stop and declare my love for the library system!

LOVE!

A place to check out novels, music, DVDs, magazines, how-to manuals, and cookbooks.

And all for free.

F-R-E-E

That's my kind of place.

All that said, I was not thrilled with my latest treasures from my public library - through no fault of the library.

I mean, if I was the person who chose which DVDs to supply at the library I probably would have been excited to have Biggest Loser and Dancing with the Stars DVDs too.

That is, until I actually tried to workout to said DVDs.

Oh my, people.

Let the giggling begin.

I popped in the Dancing video - ready for some sweat, some pumped up music, and some hip shaking.

I can get down with the best of them.

I'm not scared of professional dancers.

Bring it on.

And then they did.

And I quit.

Less than 5 minutes into the video!

Seriously, it was ridiculous.

Lovely, lovely Lacey, with her bright smile and flowing hair said this to me.

"Okaaaay, we're going to do the Jive."

"Let's start with a triple step. Triple step, triple step, triple step!"

"Now, turn, and triple step, backwards, now forwards."

And again!"

And I just stood there with my mouth open and my feet firmly planted on the ground.

Sheer disbelief.

What??!

Not only do I have no idea what a triple step is, I couldn't follow you at that mach speed if my feet were on fire!

Give a sister a little direction - break it down for me, please!

But she didn't. She just kept dancing.

So I quit. And I popped in the Biggest Loser dvd, sure that I would have more success with my boyfriend, little Bobby Harper.

And then it happened.

The workout began and Bobby was no where to be seen.

That's right.

Even though he is on the cover of the dvd he is not actually IN the dvd.

The contestants are running the show.

And they're not Bobby Harper!

They're not even the other fake trainers that they keep trying to bring into the show.

And even though I finished the workout (all 20 minutes of it), I was not impressed.

So not impressed that I packed up that dvd right back into it's little lying case, sporting Bobby's smiling face, and placed it squarely back in my library bag to be returned immediately.

And then to console myself I popped in my Tracy Anderson workout and reminded myself what it was like to workout to a professional.

A silly, self-absorbed professional, but that is neither here nor there.

Tracy may watch herself in the mirror and take herself a little too seriously, but she makes my legs ache and my butt sore - and that is my jam!

So, thank you Tracy for the AMAZING workout. And thank you Minneapolis Public Library system for ensuring that I don't spend my hard earned money on workout DVDs that don't work out.

Lesson learned.

Alright, I'm really supposed to be sweeping my floor right now. I'd better get to it.

Have a great day everyone - go visit your library!